While having the problems with being light headed and feeling like my veins were straining, It took everything I had to make it to work until one day I just could not do it anymore. I sat on the couch with out the tv on. I had my eyes closed and tried to go to sleep, But with my Left ventricle failing I could not sleep. It had been a week staying up wishing I could sleep. In the mean time I was getting shocked by my defibulater.
The first shock was at work. I was not feeling great at all, and had been this way for going on two months before getting better. I was walkingwith a co-worker and got into our tech room. I sat down in a chair and was talking to my co-worker and logging into a computer. I saw a flash of white light which is all I remember. Now in the mean time I can tell you that I think people that die with there eyes open felt the way I am going to explain. My eyes were wide open, and I could see my co-workers mouth moving but I could not move or talk. It was like I was trapped inside my body. I then came too with him saying Larry, Larry are you okay. I told him yeah whats wrong, what are you looking at. Thats when he told me I had passed out. This happen two more times before I received the LVAD.
I finally made it to my doctors office at Barnes Jewish Hospital. I had my echo and then went to vist Dr. Ewald. I had a bad felling he was going to say i needed a LVAD. I hoped to god he would not say it. I walked in the room and he looked at me and shook my hand. I saw he could tell I was not feeling good at all. Now most of the time he walks out waits a bit and then walks in with good news. He walked out and then back in with in about 10 secounds and said I needed an LVAD. I cried. Now some people that know me know that i dont cry ever. I did not cry when my grandma died. I cried more that year then I did in my whole life.
I was ready for the LVAD after talking to Heidi which is Dr. Ewalds nurse, and Dr. Silvestry. I saw many heart doctors, and they said that they could not believe I walked in the building, but further more was alive and talking because my numbers were off the charts. When Cara arrived I told her we were going to do it but she was not sure. We thought about a 2nd opinion but there was no time. I call all the nurse and the surgeon, and told them my wife is worried and is not sure. They all came and talked to her to assure her it was the best thing. So we agreed to do the LVAD assist device.
I kissed Cara good bye as they wheeled me to the room for the LVAD. I was scared but ready to feel better. I remember doctor I-wen Wang saying are you ready. I said are you? he said yes, and I said lets do it.